Honesty For Online Daters
Honesty is crucial in online dating. The internet as a medium for creating connections between individuals is an easy prey to our human failings. Disappointments litter many first dates borne out of online meetings simply due to false expectations.
Whose fault is it when dating expectations are set too high? The blame for the ruin of many first dates from online can fall on either partner although, most of the time, can be appropriately shared between the two parties.
Here's a common scenario. Jim creates a profile of himself using a three year old photo and some claims about being a gym buff and a triathlete. Guess what's brewing in the mind of whoever reads his profile? Muscular, athletic and strong. Maybe that was Jim three years ago. The last year and a half though, Jim has involved himself in a demanding career and has let go of much of his training. He's gained some weight despite working out here and there but still defines himself by what consumed him with passion in years past. His self-image remains that of the triathlete he was and he communicates accordingly. Guess what's gonna happen when Jim and someone who met him online finally go out on a first date?
It's not that Jim was lying. That's genuinely how he saw himself.
Honesty is crucial in online dating because we tend to define ourselves with what we perceive to be our socially-desirable qualities. Not only do we highlight them, we aggrandize them some of the time. While most people do not intentionally look to mislead, we all want to be accepted and admired. In our desire to do so, we play down what won't accomplish that and prop up those qualities that will. According to many psychologists, it's a healthy human response and will happen in most any scenario where people interact.
Dishonesty Will Lead You Nowhere
If you want to get results in online dating, lying isn't the way to get it. While pretending to be a millionaire or a photogenic look-alike of a famous model can get you positive reactions in the short term, how are you going to keep that up when it comes time to meet in real life? Chances are you won't and you'll end up with a botched date. That is, if you actually decide to meet up. Many who pass off false information online refuse to meet in person because they know they will be found out.
Honesty Is Still The Best Policy
If you want real results, be honest. Not only will the truth be easier to communicate, it will ensure that any romantic connections you form online will translate just as well in real-life. That, after all, is what online dating is intended for.